As a teen who’s new to the dating game, you can potentially try WAY TOO HARD to get a date. First, listen carefully — you definitely aren’t alone. So many guys and girls have absolutely zero chill about initiating conversation and closing the deal, but it’s okay because the person you’re trying so hard to get with is probably thinking the same thing.

Here’s a short guide to knowing the difference between where you need to find your chill, and where having no chill is not a big deal.

Find Your Chill: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

The trick to not scaring away your date with your lack of chill is to pick your battles. We know it’s hard, but it’s important to not worry about things out of your control. You’re like every other teen if you’re constantly worrying about things, like why aren’t they texting back? Who are they with and do they like them better than they like me?

What matters most is this: relax and learn how to let the little things go, or else you’re in danger of scaring your date away for good.

No Chill, No Problem: Nail Down the Details

With that said, it’s okay to be overbearing about some things. If you and your SO have been “hanging out” for a while and you need to know what to call it, they owe you that. If you suspect they might be cheating (within reason, of course) it’s better to ask them flat-out instead of worrying and stewing about it for weeks.

The point is, there are times when you need to find your chill and times when having no chill about dating isn’t a big deal. You just need to know which times are which: the key to a healthy and successful dating life when you’re a teen.

When you have found your chill, it is time to ask out your crush. ‘Netflix and Chill’ is the perfect way to start.

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